In this article, I will teach you how to build self-love and challenge your inner critic. I will present 15 simple techniques that will change your life forever.
Your inner critic plays an important role in your life. It focuses on your perceived faults, failures and pain and it creates a circle of negative self-talk, anxiety and negative self-image. Your inner critic was created by your thoughts and feelings. The more you listen to your negative thoughts, the more you give your inner critic the power to control your thoughts and emotions. Read more about how to change your thoughts here.
Your repressed feelings and emotions feed the negative self-image you have created by reinforcing the negative beliefs over and over. You then create a pattern of sabotage, self-criticism, self-doubt and self-distraction. Below, I will show you the best ways to build self-love and tame your inner critic.
15 ways to build self-love
1. Remember that you are in control of your own thoughts. Even though it sounds impossible to overcome fear and anxiety when you are in a circle of negativity, you need to remember that your thoughts are only thoughts. Your emotions come and go. You have the power to choose if you will let them control you or observe and let them go.
2. Don’t dwell in the past or overthink the future. Recognize when things have gone wrong in the past, learn the lesson and take it with you in your self-love journey. Learn from past mistakes and then let them go. Learn how to let go of negative emotions here.
3. Make small changes and stick with them. Create a daily task journal and write down the things you want to accomplish that day. Remember to start with small changes that you know you will be able to complete. If you are trying to achieve too many things, you will feel overwhelmed. Accomplishing small tasks will boost your confidence and build self-worth.
4. Learn what really makes you happy. It is impossible to feel happy at all times, but working towards achieving a general feel of joy and self-love is the key to healthy and happy life. Find the things that really make you happy, that connect you to something greater than yourself. Remember the times you felt the happiest and discover what is truly lighting your soul.
5. Practice positive self-affirmations. We believe the story we tell ourselves repeatedly. Using positive self-affirmations will help you challenge your inner critic. In order to check what positive self-affirmations work for you, observe how they feel. If they make you feel better, then you are on the right track. Moreover, statements that feel challenging and scary help you grow. Over time, you will diminish your inner critic and release your negative self-talk.
6. Surround yourself with positive people. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will quickly learn how to be more positive. Observing how other people see the positive regardless of the situation they are experiencing is contagious. You will soon find yourself looking at life from another perspective.
7. Write down all your negative thoughts. First step in changing negative thoughts and feelings is to acknowledge them. After you wrote them down, analyze if they are facts or feelings. Remember that feelings come and go, whereas facts cannot be changed. Next step is to accept the facts and work on changing your feelings. Learn how to master your feelings here.
8. Believe that you can grow and plan your progress. In case your life has not planned out the way you wanted it, you can always make another choice. Believe that investing in yourself and in your growth will change the future. This is a great place to start your self-love journey.
9. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down all the things you are grateful for. By recognizing the things you are grateful for, you focus your attention on the positive experiences. The more grateful you are for everything positive in your life, the more you attract new positive experiences. Read through your gratitude journal when you feel overwhelmed, stressed or sad and remember all the good things in your life.
10. Help a friend that is facing difficult times. Helping someone who goes through difficult times will help you take the focus away from your negative feelings and emotions. Moreover, helping your friend understand their feelings and emotions, will help you rationalize your own difficult situation.
11. Stop being harsh on yourself. There is an untruth myth that being harsh on yourself will help you improve yourself and achieve great things in life. This is far from the truth. Being harsh with yourself will only feed the inner critic and diminish your self-worth. On the other hand, being compassionate, loving and accepting towards yourself will build your confidence and self-love.
12. Meditate. Meditation will help you understand your thoughts and feelings by simply observing them. When you observe your feelings without identifying with them, you can let them go. Meditation also helps you stay present without worrying about the past or the future. Moreover, meditation helps recognize harmful and self-defeating thoughts and creates more positive, helpful ones.
13. Exercise. Exercising is a great way to keep your physical and mental health on track. Exercise gives you a boost of self-esteem and reduces depression, anxiety and negative moods. When you feel good about yourself, you pay less attention to your negative thoughts and feelings and focus on the positive ones.
14. Know and respect your boundaries. Know what you truly desire and refuse to settle for anything else. Be prepared to say ‘no’ to anything that doesn’t contribute to your self-love journey. Set clear boundaries and respect them. By being true to yourself and learning how to respect yourself, you will build self-love and tame your inner critic.
15. Give yourself a break. Give yourself time to do the things you enjoy doing. Spend time reading, traveling, engaging in a hobby or activity that you like. Spend time taking care of your body and mind. Take a walk to the park, take a nice relaxing bath, go shopping or simply watch a movie you enjoy watching. Forget about the problems you have for a while and spend some quality time with yourself.
I hope this article taught you the best techniques to build self-love and change your old negative patterns with new, positive ones. Wish you all the best in your self-love journey!
If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.
All the best,
(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)
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