In this article, I will show you the signs to end your relationship. If you find yourself relating to these red flags, it is time to reconsider if this is the relationship you would like to have for the rest of your life.
Is it really over?
“When you think this pain is all you deserve, you are right. You are the only one that can decide how long you will walk in hell.”- Shannon L. Alder
If you have been in a relationship for a long time, you could be stuck in a routine where you don’t observe the negative behavior of your partner because it is becoming the norm to you.
There is no perfect relationship. Arguments, misunderstandings and problems are present even in the happiest relationships.
However, your relationship should be a place for personal growth and development. If you find yourself relating to the these signs, it is time to consider leaving your relationship.
17 Signs to end your relationship
1. You are consistently unhappy. Of course, it is unrealistic to be constantly happy in a relationship. However, your relationship should make you feel happy, supported, loved and safe.
If your relationship makes you unhappy, it is time to evaluate the cause of your unhappiness.
2. You are walking on different paths. If you feel that you grow and change at a different rate than your partner does, it might be difficult to maintain a strong and healthy relationship. You could desire different things from a relationship and if you feel you cannot find a middle path where both of you are happy, maybe it is time to go on different paths.
It is important to establish if both of you want to settle, have children and if any of you have strong beliefs that are not willing to compromise on.
3. You don’t feel supported or you only feel supported when you are happy. Your partner should support your dreams and goals. Also, emotional support is important for a healthy relationship.
If you only feel supported and loved by your partner when you are happy, comfortable and confident, but unsupported in times you need it the most, discuss your concerns with your partner. It might be a misunderstanding or it might be the reason why you should end the relationship.
4.Your partner is abusing you (physical, emotional, psychological, financial or sexual). Any form of abuse is a clear sign that you should end the relationship. Abuse of any form is very damaging and can have a tremendous negative impact in your life. The longer you accept the abuse and stay in the relationship, the harder the healing process will be.
5. You don’t trust your partner. This is one of the foundations of all relationships. If you can’t trust your partner, you need to evaluate the relationship. If this is one of your insecurities, you need to address the issue within yourself and find a way to develop trust toward your partner.
On the other hand, if your lack of trust is caused by your partner’s betrayal and cannot be rebuilt, maybe it is time to leave the relationship. Read more about the connection between trust, respect and a healthy relationship here.
6. Your partner doesn’t respect you. Mutual respect is one of the foundations of all relationships. If you feel that your partner does not respect you, undermines you, mistreats you or verbal abuses you, maybe it is time to set your priorities. If you constantly feel put down by your partner, you should reconsider your relationship .
7. You relationship is unbalanced. If your relationship is unbalanced and in favor of your partner, your relationship is one sided. In a healthy relationship, both partners are contributing to the relationship in different ways and support each other.
There might be times when one partner contributes more than the other and vice versa, but you should not feel that your partner has an advantage in relationship towards you and dictates the course of your relationship.
8. You don’t communicate with your partner openly and honestly. Communication is very important in any healthy relationship. Partners who are communicating their needs and desires can progress the relationship and resolve any problems and misunderstandings.
If you feel you cannot communicate freely with your partner and the conversations always feel like a monologue, you need to address this with your partner. Read more about how to communicate effectively in relationships here.
9. You find yourself constantly attracted to other people. If you find yourself wishing to be with other people and attracted to other people, you might be in the wrong relationship.
When you truly love your partner, you don’t have any desire to be with someone else. If you are in the relationship, you might find other people attractive, but you are not romantically attracted to them.
10. Your relationship is negatively impacting your life. You are less productive at work and you have difficulty enjoying your spare time. Your lifestyle is affected because of your relationship and you end up giving up on your hobbies and activities you enjoy.
11. Your partner is controlling and manipulating you. If your partner is controlling everything you do and you feel you have nothing to say in the relationship, you might be psychologically manipulated. Read more about psychological manipulation in relationships here.
12. Your partner cheated on you. If your partner cheated on you without an agreement for an open relationship, you will find moving on and forgiving your partner extremely difficult. Although it is not impossible to move on, you will never be able to fully trust your partner again. Also, you will feel that your partner has disrespected you.
Two of the foundations of the relationship (trust and respect) will be jeopardized. It is best to talk with your partner openly and decide if the relationship is still worth a chance.
13. You believe that having a child together will solve all your problems. If your relationship is not healthy, strong and happy, a child won’t change this. Moreover, your child will suffer the consequences of your problems, arguments or your separation.
14. You are becoming more friends than lovers. With time, people might become comfortable with each other and become less attracted to each other. If you find yourself thinking of your partner as more of a friend than a lover, you need to have a conversation with them about this and express your concerns.
15. You stop investing in your relationship. A healthy relationship requires two partners that are willing to invest and grow in their relationship. If you find that you have lost interest in your relationship and you are not willing to compromise and invest in order to improve your relationship, you might need to consider why you feel this way.
16. Your partner has no desire to work towards your relationship. You have recognized and accepted that your relationship it is not the way a healthy relationship should be and you are trying to improve it or bring it back to a secure and loving relationship, but your partner has no desire to contribute.
17. Your partner shows no remorse for hurting you. If your partner did something that hurt you and he is showing no remorse for his actions, this is extremely worrying. Either your partner is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder or he has no feelings towards you. Either way, you should consider leaving your partner.
”Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”- Marilyn Monroe
I hope this article helped you realize if it’s time to end your relationship or you could give it another chance.
If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.
All the best,
(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)
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