Emotional needs in relationships- How to make your partner feel loved

In this article, I will present the seven main categories of emotional needs in relationships and explain how to make your partner feel loved and appreciated every day.

When you are in love, your understanding of your partner needs and emotions seems to come easy to you. Your communication comes effortless and you do everything you can do to make your partner happy.

As time goes by, you notice that things get more complicated and you find it harder and harder to communicate to your partner. This is absolutely normal.

Biologically, when you are in love your endorphins levels are extremely high, hence the euphoria state you are in. However, your body cannot physically function for long periods of time with high levels of endorphins.

When the endorphins levels begin to fade, you find yourself less ecstatic and more pragmatic. You observe realities about your partner that you chose to ignore before and find your conversations harder than before. Read more about the stages of love and how to reach true love here.

The idea of true love is misunderstood by many people. True love occurs when reason and emotion come together. It requires commitment, discipline and most importantly, it recognizes the need for personal growth.

True love is a choice. We need to commit to our relationship and learn how to meet our partner true emotional needs in order to nurture and develop our relationship.

There are 7 different categories of emotional needs that require to be nurtured consistently in order to elevate our love.

1. Offering appreciation and compliments

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” – Voltaire

Simple and straight forward compliments are greater motivator than criticism. We are more likely to do something our partner’s desire when we receive compliments and appreciation.

It is also important to affirm your partner in front of others and talk positively about them with other people.

2. Offering encouragement

‘’Support your partner one hundred per cent. For them, your support might be more important than their success’’- Dr. Sarvesh Jain

Encourage your partner and support their dreams. Sometimes we lack the courage or the self-confidence to take certain actions. When we feel supported and encouraged, we tend to find it easier to follow our dreams.

However, the encouragement needs to be sincere and directed to your partner’s dreams. If you try to motivate your partner to improve in an area they do not desire to, they will perceive your encouragement as judgemental.

3. Offering little gifts

”If you love someone, the greatest gift you can give them is your presence.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Offer your partner small gifts as a reminder of your love. These gifts don’t have to be expensive or even cost anything.

Sometimes, a gift can be a meal you cooked for your partner, cleaning their car or give them a ride back home after a evening out with their friends.

Give yourself to your partner.Being there for your partner is the most important gift you can offer them. No material thing will ever replace the support you can give them  in the moments they need you the most.

4. Using kind words

”Good words bring good feelings to the heart”- Rod Williams

In order to grow your relationship, you need to be kind towards your partner.  When your partner seems frustrated, you can use a loving, soft tone to calm  them and avoid the argument.

When you want your partner to do a certain task, don’t demand. Demands drive your partner away. Instead, give guidance and express your request in a nice manner. By demanding and criticizing, you make your partner feel belittled. In fact, demands suffocate the possibility of your partner acting on a certain task.

5. Offering forgiveness

‘There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”- Bryant H. McGill

Learn how to leave the past in the past. Accept that it cannot be erased or changed. Don’t bring the failures of yesterday into today. The day will start with negative emotions and resentment towards your partner. If your partner has recognized their mistakes and asked for forgiveness, let the failures of the past be history. Leaving free from yesterday’s mistake is a choice.

6. Offering undivided attention

“There’s a lot of difference between listening and hearing.”- G. K. Chesterton

Give quality time to your partner by spending time together without engaging in any other activity, offering them your full attention.

Listen to your partner and make an effort to understand their emotions, feelings and desires. Don’t listen to reply or to give advice. Listen to give sympathy, to show them that you are there in order to support and love them.

7. Physical contact

“Nothing eases suffering like human touch.”-Bobby Fischer

Holding hands, kisses, hugs and being intimate with your partner is essential in order to nurture your love and relationship. A simple touch or a hug when you are sad might be the only thing that can make you feel better.

Find out your partner’s emotional needs

By consistently giving your partner  these loving gestures, you will be able to maintaining a healthy and emotionally satisfying relationship.

However, people tend to express their feelings in different ways, depending on their primarily emotional needs. Everyone has between one and three main emotional needs that need to be satisfied in order to feel loved.

This is not to say that the others can be ignored. By understanding your partner’s  emotional needs, you can focus on offering them the love they most need.

Many times, what works for you, might not work for your partner. Whilst you might appreciate compliments or encouragements, your partner might crave undivided attention or physical contact.

An efficient way to identify your partner’s primarily emotional desires is to pay attention to their criticism. Next time they express their frustration, try to identify in which of these seven categories their emotional need falls.

If your partner is consistently expressing frustrations that fall into the same category, you have identified your partner’s primarily emotional need.

Final thoughts

I hope this article helped you understand the seven categories of human’s emotional needs and identify your partner’s primarily emotional need. Once you learn what to focus your attention on to make your partner feel loved, your relationship will improve completely.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,

Yoana
lovenote-4u.com

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26 thoughts on “Emotional needs in relationships- How to make your partner feel loved”

  1. Hi Yoana! This is spot on! I find that my husband and I are really strong in some aspects but need improvement in others that you listed. I love this site! Keep me coming!

    Reply
    • Hi Laura,

      Thank you for your comment and for reading my articles. I am happy you enjoyed reading this post.

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  2. Hi Yoana, this is a great job you have done in your article on emotional needs in relationship and how to make your partner feel loved. I must say that I fell in love with your article because it is full of useful content and the lovely way you supported each point with a lovely quote.

    I have book marked your website because of how rich it is and I will be visiting often for more inspirations as a married man.

    Love in a relationship should be expressed and nurtured.

    Cheers

    Reply
    • Hi Joseph,

      Thank you for you nice words. I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading my article and find it inspiring and useful. 

      I hope to see you back here soon. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  3. Hi Yoana

    Another informative and insightful article. I have been in a relationship for 7 years next month. We have 3 kids and a mortgage and yet we still find that we have to ensure we spend quality time with each other. Sometimes a little compliment can go a long way.

    Reply
    • Hi Russ,

      I am happy you enjoyed reading my article. Quality time together is crucial for any relationship, regardless of how much time you have been together.
      Thank you for your support and I hope to see you back here for future posts.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  4. Thank you so much for this insightful article, Yoana. Relationships will only last if they are based on true love, mutual respect, trust, communication, and discipline. Particularly among younger people, too many of us get caught up in looks or finances, which are transient and bound to change. When we truly love a person for that person, help that person, encourage that person, show affection to that person, or otherwise give that person our undivided attention, we grow stronger in every way-physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. This world needs more love, as it’s the thread that holds us all together, regardless of the circumstances. Great read! God bless you!

    Reply
    • Hi C.N,

      I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading my article. I cannot agree with you more. The world needs more love and I hope I can send a positive and informative message to all of those who are willing to develop and improve their relationship.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  5. Great review on emotional needs in relationships and how to make your partner feel loved. Trust me, relationships are meant to make you smile and stay happy so it should always be with that person you cherish so much. Awesome tips you have here on how to stay happy in a relationship, definitely will keep them in mind…

    Thanks for the nice words.

    Reply
    • Hi Evans,

      Thank you for your comment. I agree with you completely. In a world where stress is consuming all of us, relationships should make us happy ans safe.

      Wish you all the best, 

      Yoana

      Reply
  6. Keeping a relationship going requires attention and these are some very insightful ways to do this! I enjoyed reading it, especially the little gems you add in the quotes to each category. I find communication is key in many of these aspects, you simply can’t expect to get the most out of a relationship if you’re not being honest with each other. 

    Reply
    • Hi Justin,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading my article .I hope to see you back here.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  7. Nice one! A truly helpful article that can make every problematic relationship works successfully. Thinking of my wife whose far away while reading this great article and quickly identified her emotional needs right now that can be at least lessened by giving her a video call later. 

    Yes, there’s really no perfect relationship but bearing always in mind these emotional needs, I believe, your relationship with your loved one will become almost perfect!

    Thanks a lot for sharing this great article! Keep it up!

    Reply
    • Hi Julius,

      I am very happy to hear that you have identified your wife’s main emotional needs. It is nice to see people who are willing to continuously improve their relationships and work out their problems and differences.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  8. Love is a great place to be in, as you rightly posited. These categories you mentioned cover some of the activities that are part of my relationship. I just didn’t know that then, but now I’ve come to understand that I can work on them to enjoy a deeper and richer relationship with my spouse.

    This post has seriously helped to identify areas in my relationship that I need to work on. Thank you so much for sharing this timely information.

    Reply
    • Hi Olatunji,

      I am happy to see that my post has helped you identify the areas in your relationship that you need to work on. Love is a commitment we make every day and as long as we are willing to improve our relationship everyday we are on the right path. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  9. Thank you for sharing the importance of 7 emotional needs to make our partner feel loved.

    Sometimes we have neglected our partner’s emotions and we take things for granted. It is so true that we should show our appreciation and compliments to our partner.

    I totally agree with offering forgiveness. I never want to carry any unhappiness to the next day.

    Reply
  10. Hello Yoana – This is good, sound relationship advice.  If only we applied it.  It seems to me that the major problem with relationships today is we are too busy focusing on self; once the endorphins level off. 

    This isn’t only a problem in personal relationships, but from the government on down.  Everybody is for self.  One of the large conflicts in government (US) is self-interest groups.

    True love puts the other person first. This would make the world such a better place.  This is why Jesus in the Bible commanded us to “love one another.”

    Reply
    • Hi Nathaniel, 

      Thank you for your comment. The major problem in relationships is an unwillingness to work together in order to improve  the relationship. I hope more and more people will realise how important is to give, no only to receive love for own and others happiness.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  11. I really like this article. 🙂 My wife and I re-united 3 months ago after a 2 years separation. I am happy to say that our relationship is better than it ever was in the previous 7 years together.

    Unfortunately, my wife’s previous relationships were very toxic and abusive. I’ve learned much patience and humility in our growth period. On the other hand, the points that you expressed in this post I have learned in my youth and have had much time to practice, so the facts that you point out, come rather easy for but I had to allow my wife to grow into this understanding and mindset.

    As for me, I learned the definition of love from the Creator of Love. I Corinthians 13:4 – 7. Once I truly understood what those words meant I have been able to practice them in my relationship.

    Today at 59 years young (both), my wife and I are enjoying the relationship that we’ve dreamed about. Lots of laughs, hugging, loving, kissing and touching. Communication has improved by 75%, and our future is bright and hopeful. Thanks for a refreshing read early in the morning.

    Reply
    • Hi Derrick,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that my article reminded you of the things you have learned in the past and to see that if two people are willing to make a relationship work, there is always a way. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  12. Understanding your partner’s love languages is also important. I’ve been in relationships where all the right words were uttered but the follow-through actions? MIA! Imagine loving someone so much and not expressing it well enough for them to understand. Tragic! What do you do when your partner still doesn’t feel loved? Therapy? Gracias!

    Reply
    • Hi David,

      Thank you for your comment. You are right, sometimes we fail to show the person we love how much we love them. This is a result of lack on communication and understanding. And if despite all your efforts, your partner still doesn’t feel loved , couple therapy will be a very useful tool you both benefit from. 

      Kind regards,

      Yoana 

      Reply
  13. Hey nice article you have there. In each of your articles, I do learn new relationship tips that has been the major building block of my relationship. Number four and five tips really got my attention, women love it when you call them sweet names, it gives them the confidence of being with the right man, also forgiveness is very necessary in a relationship, one has to let go of any wrong done by the other in other to keep the relationship going

    Reply
    • Hi Edah,

      Thank you reading my articles and following the advice in order to improve your relationship. I hope to see back here.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply

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