How anxiety affects relationships and how to overcome it

In this article I will discuss how anxiety affects relationships and what steps can be taken in order to overcome it.

The unwanted consequences of silenced emotions include deterioration of our mental health, well-being and overall capacity to cope with the problems that arise in our life. The emotions that have been silenced and held affect our capacity to identify feelings in a realistic and effective way, often leading to anxiety.

Nowadays, many relationships are affected by anxiety. People that suffer from anxiety in relationships live in uncertainty and doubt, even if the relationship seems to go well.

Their worries about the relationship control them. It is difficult to understand why people would distance themselves from their partner when everything seems to function normally. People with anxiety in relationships could get so worried they might get hurt, that they choose to give up love completely.

To a certain degree, we all experience a level of anxiety in love. Either consciously or unconsciously, when we are deeply in love, we all fear to get hurt. But for many of us this doubt is not dominating our thoughts and feelings. A certain degree of anxiety is healthy in relationships.

”Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained”. -Arthur Somers Roche

When does anxiety become a problem in our relationships?

However, when anxiety takes over your mind, you become suspicious, paranoid, mistrustful and fearful. Anxiety makes you feel overwhelmed, uneasy and tense. You lose your self-confidence and you stop enjoying your relationship. Anxiety programs your mind to look for any trigger to reinforce the feelings of doubt, fear, paranoia and worries.

Moreover, anxiety can take over other areas of your life, affection your well-being, productivity and reasoning. Fear and worry become the order of the day and you find it more and more difficult to concentrate on the day to day tasks of life.

Anxiety can damage or even destroy your relationship. By stealing the pleasure and connection between you and your partner, anxiety can poison your relationship. If you constantly think of things that could go wrong or have already gone wrong, your thoughts will begin to manifest in physical ways.

”You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you”. – Dan Millman

How anxiety works?

Anxiety triggers the fight or flight response and release hormones like adrenaline and other chemicals to your body. This increases your breathing and heart rate and sends the blood flow to your brain, preparing you for an intense situation.

Anxiety can have devastating effects on your mental and physical health. Short term, you experience a feeling of restlessness, your muscle are tense and you find it difficult to rest.

Long term, anxiety weakens your immune system and makes you more vulnerable to infections and illnesses.

Your body finds it extremely difficult to function normally in this roller-coaster of emotions. It is not unusual for anxiety to lead to depression.

Moreover, when you always worry about your relationship, your self-confidence diminishes and you become more and more insecure. Find out more about how low self-confidence affects your relationship

It is important to understand that you can deal with whatever life brings to you. We were created in such way that we can heal from any situation that have caused us pain and grow stronger as a result.

Human being were created to survive, not to be happy. This is why our mind is constantly looking for threats in our environment and send us signals to defend ourselves from the danger those situations might expose us to.

However, people with anxiety see threats where they don’t exist and create scenarios in their imagination that most of the time will never happen. Anxiety is no more than your mind trying to protect you from feelings associated with past experiences.

In most cases, anxiety is developed over time. Your mind accumulates various unique and traumatic experiences from your past, adapting your unconscious mind to recognise the triggers of those experiences and to signal it back to you.

”Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.”  -Astrid Alauda

How do we address anxiety?

The good news is that you can overcome anxiety. There are various ways that have been developed to address different types of anxiety, but we will now concentrate on ways to overcome anxiety in relationships.

The first step to overcome anxiety is to identify irrational behaviours that trigger your anxiety and take positive action to address and eliminate them. Self-awareness is a critical first step to develop a secure intimate relationship in which you can grow and become more confident and peaceful.

Once you identified that your unjustified anxiety affects your relationship and you are willing to take all the necessary steps to overcome it, you begin your journey to happiness, peace and greatness.

Drug treatments can help you deal with your anxiety. However, they are a short-term help and they fail to address the root of the problem. It is essential to tackle the problem and do whatever it takes to eliminate it, rather than temporary ameliorate it.

”I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” – Steve Maraboli

Ways to naturally eliminate anxiety in relationships

 

 

  • Face your fears-  If you cannot stop negative thoughts about your relationship, communicate these worries to your partner. You might fear that he will confirm that all the negative thoughts are valid reasons to worry.  However, most likely he will re-assure you that they are not.
  • Know yourself–  Whenever you feel anxious, observe yourself. Notice what makes you anxious and try to evaluate your reaction from an objective perspective. Detect your emotions and the impact they have on your mind and body.
  • Exercise– Whenever you feel that anxiety takes over you, exercise. Your body will use the adrenaline that is already flowing through your blood in an effective way. Also, exercise requires some concentration which will take your mind off from your negative thoughts.
  • Avoid alcohol, caffeine and sugar–  Eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water instead.
  • Counselling –  Counselling is an effective way to reduce anxiety. If you cannot afford a counsellor, speak with a friend that you can trust about your worries and anxiety. By communicating your problems, you get a better insight of your feelings and reactions and the underlying reasons for your anxiety
  • Meditation– The effects of meditation are extremely beneficial for people with anxiety. People who meditate feel more balanced, calm and focused. Whilst observing your feelings without judgement, you can considerably reduce the worrying and negative thoughts.
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy– Cognitive behavioral therapy is a form of therapy aiming to challenge the way you think and behave by recognising and addressing negative thoughts and behaviors.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is closely looking into your life stressors and the cause of them. It then goes on to teach you how to cope with stress and balance your life by setting goals and learn how to think constructively.

In terms of relationship, cognitive behavior therapy determines and challenges your communication style. It teaches you active listening, showing appreciation for others and learning how to forgive.

”Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. ”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Final thoughts

Anxiety can have a huge negative impact on your relationship. It creates a lot of pressure for both the person with anxiety and their partner. The dynamic of a relationship is changed considerably when one deals with anxiety.

Although anxiety manifests as uncontrollable and unjustifiable feelings and thoughts, there are many ways to address, control and eliminate anxiety.

It is time to challenge yourself and change! Remember that anxiety is a creation of your mind as a result of undesired past experiences. Anxiety can be eliminated by addressing the roots of these thoughts and feelings and taking positive steps to change them.

”Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” -Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,

Yoana
lovenote-4u.com

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30 thoughts on “How anxiety affects relationships and how to overcome it”

  1. Great job on the post, very well put together. Lots of individuals are new to this market, and anxiety does affect existing relationships as well.
    This shows how to overcome anxiety, and if fixed, will lead to an overall better relationship between the two.
    I like the supporting quotes within the context.

    Reply
    • Hi Ashraf,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I cannot agree more with you, anxiety can affect relationships at any stage of their development. Although overcoming anxiety requires a lot of work on oneself, the long-term benefits are tremendous.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  2. I have always known about Anxiety, but never really realized how it could become a potential problem especially in relationships. I’ve definitely quite a lot from this article, how to avoid and overcome it in case I face it in the future. So thank you for that!

    For one, I definitely agree that Exercise (especially Jogging/Running) can help overcome Anxiety because it has helped me overcome other problems such as my Anger issues as well. It gives me time to find peace within myself and has helped me become a better person overall. So for those with Anxiety issues, definitely try this out!

    Reply
    • Hi Terence,

      Thank you for your comment and sharing with us the benefits of exercise. I couldn’t agree more with you, exercise is a good stress relief and it has a massive positive effect on our physical and mental health. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana 

      Reply
  3. I found this article most interesting and also I can very easily relate to the subject.  Seeing threats that don’t exist really jumped off the screen when I read them, Even after 3 years since I hit rock bottom, I still anticipate scenarios that have no chance of occurring no matter where I am. They are not as bad now but I still have them sometimes.

    Mine started with my now ex-wife continually going in and out of the hospital with Kidney Problems over the course of 5 years and I began to fear she would not come out one day and the thought manifested larger and larger for each visit until it consumed me and the relationship. 

    Anxiety is a terrible thing to endure and I thank you for giving the time to write an excellent post to reflect on how far I have come.

    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Hi Darren,

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Overcoming anxiety is a long journey and I am happy to see how far you have come. You are an example to follow for many people still struggling with anxiety every day. 

      I am extremely happy to see that you enjoyed reading my article and it helped you reflect on your progress. Would you mind sharing the most successful treatments/ ways you have dealt with anxiety?  I would like to know and share different ways that might help people overcome anxiety. Thank you very much

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  4. Hey there, I was looking for some advice online and I was so glad that I stumbled across your site. Sometimes these things are often not said between friends and partners, but I’m glad I was able to find something relevant online. This article helped me a lot and I will definitely try out some of the advice you’ve listed 🙂 It was a fun read.

    – James

    Reply
    • Hi James,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you have found the article helpful and that you decided to follow some of the advice I’ve listed. Let me know how it goes. Wish you an easy journey in overcoming anxiety!

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  5. Excellent article. Until you experience anxiety for yourself it is not something most people would understand. There is no question it can take control and effect many things including relationships. Lots of help available for people who need it and there is no shame in seeking it out. Thanks

    Reply
    • Hi Rob,

      Thank you so much for your comment. It is true, anxiety is extremely hard to understand by people not experiencing it themselves. And as you said, it can take control over many aspects of your life.

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  6. Hi. Thank you for sharing this interesting article. Alot of people are actually suffer from their past experience of relationship and couldn’t let go. In other words, they are still living in the past that cause them suffer now.

    I feel that whatever way they tried to use to solve their anxiety, they should go to the root of the problem, face it and get it resolve in order to completely stop it.

    We have to learn that whatever experience we have go through is just a lesson for us to learn to help us to become a better person. This is what call Life! Life basically is a learning journey. Fall down, stand up and continue the journey!

    Reply
    • Hi Janet,

      Thank you for your comment. I cannot agree more, in order to overcome anxiety, we need to address the root of the problem. The techniques presented in this article are helpful and finding the root of the problem and taking positive steps in overcoming it.

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  7. Hi Yoana. Really well constructed post. Anxiety can be awful especially in a Relationship. I have experienced it myself you ask yourself are you good enough? I really liked your take on how to help keep anxiety at bay.

    Reply
    • Hi Russ,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I cannot agree more, anxiety is awful and can really damage your relationships.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoanna

      Reply
  8. Interesting article on anxiety and very informative. I have a family member that struggled with anxiety. I have a better understanding of what he must have been feeling and how my responses at the time helped him.
    Thanks

    Reply
    • Hi Regina,

      Thank you for your comment. I am pleased to see that my article gave you a better understanding of anxiety. Helping people who suffer from anxiety and supporting them is more than important in overcoming anxiety.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  9. Hi Yoana,

    Your mention of self-confidence diminishing when there’s anxiety present in a relationship really struck a chord with me.

    You are perfectly correct.

    I think we tend to let things eat away at us, which leads to more stress and anxiety over the the relationship, and in the end not only are you damaging the actual relationship, but yourself as well.

    A really fascinating read, thank you.

    Partha

    Reply
    • Hi Partha,

      Thank you very much for your comment.I am very happy to see that you enjoyed my article and related to the content.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  10. Amazing post, all your articles are interesting to me and everyone I’m sure, as everyone goes through relationships. This article in particular is very helpful for anyone coping with anxiety in a relationship. Like how you recommend natural ways for dealing with it rather than short term drug treatment too, the natural techniques are proven to be more useful and effective in the long run. You’re right about self-awareness is key too! Great post. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • Hi Sammi,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am happy to see that you enjoy my articles. I am trying to help people and give them the best advice I know from my personal experience. Not only have I dealt with anxiety, but I’ve also worked with people with mental health issues and acute anxiety disorders. The natural techniques are the most effective ways to overcome anxiety especially for people with mild anxiety disorders.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  11. Wow, I am so glad I am seeing this post. This article is exactly what I need to tackle some of my relationship issues.  I so much agree with you that we all experience a level of anxiety in love, either consciously or unconsciously when we are deeply in love. My self and my girlfriend are basically a victim of fhis, we are so full of anxiety, I so much believe this article will help us overcome it. Thanks for sharing this.

    Reply
    • Hi Sheddy,

      Thank you very much for our comment. I am so glad my article is of great help to you and your partner. It is important that you recognised your issue in your relationship is anxiety and decided to take positive steps to tackle it. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  12. Hi Yoana,

    This is a great article on anxiety. At the moment during this pandemic there are a lot more people around the world who are having anxiety. If they are in a relationship and it’s affecting it, then they would heavily benefit from your advice in this article.

    Thank you for sharing this article and I hope you help many people throughout the world. Keep up the amazing work on your site.

    All the best,

    Tom

    Reply
    • Hi Tom,

      Thank you very much for your comment. It is very true, the pandemic brings anxiety issues to light more than ever as people have more time to be alone with their thoughts and less distractions to help them deal with it. I will be exploring these helping techniques in more depth in the next articles to help people around the world overcome anxiety.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  13. Thanks for another great article Yoana.
    I though the comment about “Human being were created to survive, not to be happy.” was very thought provoking. Our instincts are very much geared to make us survive hence why sometimes it is difficult reconcile what we have with how we feel.

    Reply
    • Hi Ali,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am happy to see that you picked up on that statement and found it thought provoking.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  14. Didn’t know about anxiety in this way… it’s amazing how one can change thoughts by reading about it and putting in practice the techniques you have shown here.

    Reply
    • Hi Sev,

      I am pleased to see how my article helped you better understand anxiety and I how you can change your thoughts.

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply

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