How to attract and keep women

In this article I will show you what women want, how to attract and keep them. You will understand what women truly desire from men and how to make them feel loved and special.


How to attract women

”Women are not attracted to men who are good-looking; they are attracted to men who are attractive.”- Zan Perrion

Women are attracted to men who socially dominate and express confidence. Acting calm and under control will attract women, whilst constantly fidgeting and displaying a nervous behaviour won’t.

Insecurity is the most unattractive trait a man can have. Don’t ask the woman you are dating if she likes you or how she thinks the date it is going.

Intelligence, leadership and discipline are attributes that women admire. A good career which you are passionate about shows that you are ambitious and reliable.

Women are attracted to men that are skilful and knowledgeable. Be confident in your abilities, but don’t be arrogant.

Women desire to feel protected. By opening the doors, walk on the busy side of the sidewalk or pull out the chair for her you will make her feel safe and special.

Your physique is also important. A confident body posture, nice teeth, well-groomed hair and clean nails are qualities that women are looking for in men. Also, the way you dress, what shoes you wear and your cologne can give an important message about your personality.

Positive energy and passion are like a magnet for anyone you are meeting. Have a positive attitude towards life and relationships. Don’t talk about past relationships were you felt hurt or disappointed.

Women like to be taken by surprise. Be spontaneous and ready for new adventures. Organise an unconventional date where you can have fun and connect to each other.

There is nothing more attractive than a man who values himself and has high expectations. Be a man of high-value and you will be like a magnet to any woman you desire.


How to master your conversation skills

”Conversation is a meeting of minds with different memories and habits. When minds meet, they don’t just exchange facts: they transform them, reshape them, draw different implications from them, engage in new trains of thought. Conversation doesn’t just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards.”- Theodore Zeldin

Women are looking for real conversations, for warmth and security. They need to feel secure in order to enjoy the date.

Women are attracted to emotional energy. Talk passionately about your interests, listen and ask questions. By putting her at the centre of the conversation, you can make her feel valued.

Even when the purpose of dating is not a long term commitment, women are more likely to engage with men that make them feel safe.

Offer her your undivided attention. Maintain eye-contact in a warmth and gentle way and don’t get distracted by other people in the room or your phone.

Ask open questions and show interest in the conversation. Try to keep the conversation positive. Otherwise, she will associate the negative things discussed with you.

Humour is an indicator of intelligence. Make her laugh and you are half-way there.

Everyone loves to talk about things that they are most interested in. Ask her questions about her interests, passions, dreams or places she has travelled.

Ask questions about friends, family or her pets. This will show her that you are taking a step further in trying to get to know her.

How women react when they are attracted to you

”Women spend their lives trying to look good for men. So a woman who feels she’s sending the right visual signals is pleased with herself.”- Helen Fisher

When they are attracted to you, women transmit signals. These come in various forms but the most common signals are direct eye contact and smile. Also, glancing at you and away from you transmit the same message.

If they are attracted to you, women involuntary lean towards you whilst you talk. Another way they show interest is playing with their hair or fidgeting with a piece of jewellery.

Understanding women

‘’You don’t know a woman until you understand what she’s not saying to you’’- Unknown

If there is one quality all women are looking for in a partner, that is trustworthiness.

Women have a biological desire to feel safe and protected. They want men to be interested in their needs and desires and feel respected and heard. By showing on time, keep your word and be there for them, you can demonstrate these qualities.

Women need you to be there for them in two ways: physically and emotionally. In order to make any woman happy, you need to support her when she needs you and to listen and understand her.

In order to feel special, women desire undivided attention. Disengage from any activity and give her your undivided attention when she talks with you.

Women need to feel emotionally connected and emotionally safe. Accept her emotions and listen without becoming defensive. Read more about what women want in relationships here.

When men are dismissing women’s emotions by either trying to fix them, ignore them or minimise them, they create emotional tensions in the relationship.

When she is confessing her feelings to you, show her understanding and empathy. The biggest mistake you can do is to try to minimise her problems, try to fix them or make a joke about them.

Final thoughts

I hope this article has helped you understand what women want, how to attract, keep and understand them. By following the advice in this article, you will be able to make any woman feel protected, desired and loved.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,


  (Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)

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12 thoughts on “How to attract and keep women”

  1. Women are such complex creatures according to some men. Your Article gives great tips for men to attract and keep women. I do agree with you on the things you have pointed out. Arrogance is definitely a huge turn off. Do you think men try too hard and that is often why things don’t go according to plan? 

    • Hi Lisa,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you have related to my article. 

      Personally, I believe the problem most men and women have is the inability to understand the emotional needs of their partner. By understanding than men and women are different and learning what women really need in order to feel loved, men will discover than women are not complex creatures; they are just different . 

      Best regards,


  2. This is great stuff!

    There are some good, solid tips for attracting a woman.

    I particularly like the quotes you have dispersed through your blog.

    I look forward to reading more from you.

    Thank you!


    • Hi John,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading my article and found the information here of great help.

      Kind regards,

  3. Thank you so much for this highly informative article, Ioana!
    I feel that technology has hurt the younger generation; so many kids text and communicate via social media that they don’t know how to have interpersonal conversations anymore-it’s as if they no longer know how to talk to one another, face to face.
    I agree that women like a man who is kind, respectful, intelligent, ambitious, cares about his appearance, is a natural protector, etc.
    When both men and women take this seriously, we will see much happier, longer-lasting relationships. Great read!

    • Hi C.N.,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading this article and you relate with the information.

      Wish you all the best,

  4. Hi, Ioana, thank you for sharing this interesting topic on how to attract and keep women. These are valuable facts and they have a great potential to hold a relationship and make the woman feel loved, desired and safe. I agree with you a hundred per cent that women needs a trustworthy man because once a woman is interested in a man, she tends to entrust her whole life into him.
    However, at times the man starts the relationship with all the affection and wins the woman’s love and commitment, then the man changes and ceases to give the woman the attention she needs. The woman begins to think she has been deceived and wants to quit the relationship. What will be your advice to such a woman?

    • Hi Mojisola,

      Thank you for your comment. I would recommend reading my article- ‘The stages of love in relationships-Is he the one?’  This will explain why people give more at the beginning of the relationship and the reasons for the changes you are concerned about.

      Also, in this situation, communication is very important in the relationship. Explaining your partner in a nice manner what you are feeling and what you need might work miracles. Keeping your feelings inside will build resentment. 

      I would also strongly recommend reading the article ‘Love advice for women-How men think in relationships’. It will open your eyes to a new understanding of men’s behaviour.

      Wish you all the best,


  5. Hi Ioana,

    Thanks for a very interesting and informative article. There is no question that women are attracted by confidence, and are put off by insecurities and lack of confidence. I guess however that some guys may take that a bit too far and stray over the line from confidence to arrogance. It’s a very fine line, but it can become quite an obvious one nonetheless. Getting it just right could be a bit of a challenge 😆
    On the other side of the coin, every man is going to have some insecurities no matter how confident they appear to be. But I suppose it could be a case of putting those feelings aside during early dates until the guy feels secure enough with the female to discuss it. By discussing those insecurities it could be seen as an indication of confidence in itself,
    This of course is all connected to trustworthiness. If a man is always acting very confident in her company, yet deliberately hides some insecurities then he isn’t being entirely honest and is therefore less trustworthy. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hi Ray,

      Thank you for your comment. As you mentioned, between confidence and arrogance it is a thin line.
      However, the difference between these two can be easily recognised: confidence comes from self-love and self-acceptance, whereas arrogance from insecurity. And women usually recognise the difference between these two.
      Of course, even the most confident people have insecurities, but how they manage these insecurities makes the difference between someone who is confident and someone who is not.

      Kind regards,


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