How to find the perfect man

In this article I will show you how to find the perfect man for you. I will explain what qualities and values men look for when they meet a woman, how to catch their eyes and how to stand out from the crowd.

I will also show you how to keep them engaged in conversations, how to approach online dating and why you shouldn’t wait for men to make the first step.

How to find the perfect man

”Dating should be less about matching outward circumstances than meeting your inner necessity.”- Mark Amend

Many women leave dating to fate, falsely believing that the right man will show in front of them when it is meant to be. However, by waiting for your knight in shining armour on your couch, the probability is that he would never show up.

In order to meet the man of your dreams, you need to invest in dating. By going on many dates and give yourself time to date, your chances of finding Mr. Perfect will increase considerably.

Where to find the perfect man

”Whenever I date a guy, I think: Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”- Rita Rudner

Attend parties, barbecues, social events, dinners, go on trips and engage with people you don’t know. Get their numbers and expand your circle of people sharing the same interest. The more people that share your interests you know, the easier it is to find Mr Right.

Develop social skills by socialising with everyone. By developing strong social skills you will be able to talk with anyone you meet. So when you actually meet the man of your dreams, conversation will become more natural.

How to attract him

“I think confidence is a true form of beauty.” – Becky G

Men are attracted to self-confidence, independence, integrity and femininity. If you possess these qualities and have high values you can have any man you desire.

Self-confidence is something men can spot from miles. In order to express self-confidence and be like a magnet to men you need to be certain of your abilities and qualities.

Flirt confidently with men, give subtle signs that you are interested, be playful and spontaneous in your conversation.

Stand out for the crowd by being yourself. Know what you want in a man and never settle for less. Don’t get impressed by superficial things and don’t compare yourself with others.

An independent woman has her own life, hobbies, activities and friends. Men are attracted to women who are independent and can live their own life.

If being in a relationship is what has defined you in the past, it’s time to work on yourself and find yourself before you meet the man of your dreams.

Men are attracted to women that have a passion in their lives. This might be going to the gym, writing, reading, theatre, travelling or cooking.

Men are not only attracted but respect women who have clear standards. Act with integrity and have clear values.

Make him feel special

”A real woman can go through anything on her own, but a real man won’t let her.”- Unknown

Men have an inner desire to protect and provide. They desire to feel they bring something to your life. If they feel they are not needed, they become insecure.

Yes, men are attracted to independent and strong women. However, if they feel there is nothing they can bring to the relationship, their instinctual desire to provide is unaccomplished.

If he offers to take care of you in any way, let him do it. Don’t resist his help and don’t try to show him that you can do the task on your own. Read more here about how men behave in relationships and what they want from you here.

Myth or reality? If he likes me, he will approach me.

”Rejections send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem.”- Guy Winch

The more attracted men are to you, the less likely they will engage in a conversation with you.

When men are attracted to women they are scared of being rejected and humiliated. Rejection lowers their self-esteem.

In this matter, men are not different from women. It is easier to flirt and talk with people we don’t feel attracted to. The more attracted you are to someone, the harder it is to feel self-confident.

How to show him you are interested

”If you’re interested in a man, act interested in him.”- Evan Marc Katz

In order to make the man you have laid eyes on make the first step and approach you, you need to give him clear indication that you are interested.

You can do this by looking at him, making eye contact and smiling. If he reciprocates, but still doesn’t make a move, invite him over to you by making a small and subtle gesture with your hand.

How to seduce him with your conversation

  • Show him you are interested in his values, the things that make him unique and special.
  • Ask open questions, be a good listener and try to create an emotional connection.
  • Ask subtle questions about the qualities and values you are looking for in a man in order to determine at early stages if he is the man you are looking for.
  • Ask questions about his interests and passions. Everyone loves to talk about things they love.
  • Ask intriguing and interesting questions that would keep his mind engaged. Men love to solve problems and achieve tasks.

Online dating

”Internet dating is the fastest, most efficient way to gather a pool of qualified candidates. It could take you a lifetime to do the investigation that the computer comes up with in seconds.” -Judsen Culbreth

Although I have found my Mr. Right on an online platform, I acknowledge that there are many disadvantages of online dating.

First, it is hard to communicate our real personality through a dating profile. When you meet in real life, you might be disappointed of your choice, as the image you created in your mind it’s different from the reality.

You might need to go on many dates with people you don’t feel the slightest attraction towards. Also, from having such a big variety to choose from, we tend to dismiss certain online profiles based on looks, pictures or a profile description.

Tips for online dating:

  • Keep your profile simple and honest.
  • Include the type of guy you are looking for and what exactly you expect from the application. For example, if you are not there for one-night-stands, make it clear.
  • Don’t lose your time talking too much online. Use online dating only to set up real dates.
  • Don’t make it your only method of dating men.


Final thoughts

I hope this article has offered you a clear understanding on how to find and how to attract the perfect man for you. By understanding what men look for in a woman and how to keep him interested, you will bring dating to another level.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,


  (Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)

For counselling and coaching appointments scan the QR code or press here.


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20 thoughts on “How to find the perfect man”

  1. Hi Ioana

    As I was looking for an article on the internet, your article got my attention and I came to read it, I must say after reading it I got the thought “hope many women find this website”

    I’m lucky to say I have Mr. Right in my life and we have a happy life together, but I see the need for many women to find someone to share their lives.

    Your article will help them to see more clearly what to look for, stop looking for that good looking guy, there’s more question to be asked to see if he is the one or not.

    I love your question about “Is this the guy I want my children to spend the weekends with”, take a look on different things about a guy, there are so many things to see in a person to see how the future will be living with that person.

    I remember when my sister asked me: have you seen him mad? Yes I did, and he is a calm guy even when he is mad.

    Education in schools and in families should be different and should help us to see different things in ourselves and in the person we are interested on. I’m sure your article will help many.

    • Hi Alejandra,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy you believe my article will help many women around the world.

      I agree with you completely. Education in families and in schools do not prepare us for relationships. Also, self-confidence, self-respect and independence are also subjects that are not discussed in depth. 

      There is nothing more important that how we live our lives, how we choose our partner and how we become a respectful, independent  and self-confident person. 

      I hope people around the world will use the internet in a constructive way and self-educate. 

      Wish you all the best,


  2. It does seem that we are left to wander around a bit in the dark for the exact right way to meet your Mr Right!  Your suggestions are wonderful guidelines.  I agree that filling your life with actions you are passionate about is a good way to meet people you might like for the rest of your life.  Friends help, even new friends. 

    If you are a hard-working young woman who is serious about having a husband and family in the future, and your work is demanding, it is sometimes hard to ask the questions about what a new acquaintance has in mind for his future.  But as your time is limited, spending your free time for a few months getting acquainted with someone who is not in the settling in time in their lives is a waste of yours.  There are lots of things that can happen when both of you are wanting to meet a special person.  So getting the groundwork questions out of the way is important.

    If you are still wanting to just have fun dates, and are not ready to settle in, you may not be in such a hurry to make this decision.  You should not string along a man who is ready to meet his special someone.  If you are not interested and attracted, say so.  Marriage is difficult enough when you both love and respect each other and want a future together, but only when you both are willing to work at the relationship will it be worth your time.-

    • Hi Sami,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you have found this information useful. I agree with you, when we are clear of what we want, we should let the other person know and be as specific as we can. 

      Also, I believe a mistake many of us make is to believe that someone is going to change and desire to be in a relationship because of us. Even though this is possible, if the person is not ready to be in a relationship, she/he will always feel trapped or in a place she/he should not be.

      Kind regards,


  3. Amazing article. I’ve learnt quite a few things myself about men! lol
    You website and article are fabulous and easy to follow.

    All the best

  4. Hi
    I am sure I had similar experiences to others reading this. We very easily see ourselves in the situations you describe. I do wonder though the extent to which this is very culturally specific. The clear example that comes to my mind is how it is quite normal in the Netherlands for a woman to approach a man and ask him on a date, whereas in the situation you describe, and the one I grew up with it was always the expectation that the man would make the first proposal of a date. Thinking back I can definitely see how cultural and social norms have shifted somewhat and what is now normal dating behavior between people in their 20’s would not have been so 30 years ago.
    Thanks for an interesting article.
    Best regards

    • Hi Andy,

      Thank you for your comment. I agree with you, cultural and social norms have changed and I have witnessed similar behaviours where a girl is approaching a guy here, in U.K. Although I believe this is perfectly normal, I think that most men prefer to be the one chasing a girl. This is mostly a biologically desire than men have. As I mentioned in the articles, I think women are responsible for giving all the signs that will boost his confidence to approach them.

      Kind regards,

  5. Great post Ioana. It was a strange feeling reading about how to approach men etc but I must admit your article rings pretty true. Great post.

    • Hi Russ,

      Thank you for your comment. I am glad to see you enjoyed reading my post. I hope to see you back here for more articles.

      Kind regards,

  6. I really like your advice about including in your profile what qualities you are looking for in a man; in the past when I was dating a lot there were so many dates I went on with really nice people but who just didn’t have the qualities I search for in a partner, so this is a really great idea 🙂

    I think you’re so right about independence, this is a quality that I value highly in my life and even after we have found that relationship I think its just as important that we still make our friends, passions and other parts of our life in sync, just as we would if we were single. And like you say, the more we expand our circle, not only do we increase our chances of meeting someone, but we become the people we want to be- we connect with people and as with anything in life, the more we practise dating the better we get at it. I also really love that quote that you wrote:

    “A real woman can go through anything on her own, but a real man won’t let her.” It sums up so perfectly, that our security should come from ourselves, but how wonderful it is when a man steps in and meets you where you’re at because he wants to and he cares. Thanks for such a great read 🙂

    • Hi Natalie,

      Thank you for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed reading this article and found the advice useful. In terms of independence, I agree with you completely. Even when we are in a relationship, we should keep our friends, interests and passions. This way we can keep our identity and self-confidence. A relationship should complete us, not define us.

      All the best,

  7. Thanks for this interesting post, it was really helpful, an article that contains both the great and finest content. 

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    Thanks a lot for the info dear, love the designs and your sense of humour here it really brings out the product uniqueness , already saved these so as to come back for future reference. 

    • Hi Skuchmane,

      Thank you very much for you comment. I am happy to see that you have found this post of great value and helpful and that you have enjoyed reading it.

      I am glad to see that you would like to share this post with your mum, I hope she will benefit from the advice here. Keep me posted. 

      Kind regards,


  8.  Hello dear, thanks for sharing such a great remarkable article that offered us a clear understanding on how to find and how to attract the perfect man for us,  and what  men look for in a woman and how to keep him interested.

    I must commend you for your choice of words and skills of writing that  makes it plain and easy for your readers to understand and form an opinion thanks the information on this post are light to our soul.

    • Hi Josep,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you enjoyed reading my article and you found it clear and easy to read and understand.

      Wish you all the best,


  9. Heloo over there, this is indeed a nice write-up on how to find the perfect man… I just couldn’t stop being amazed after reading the whole write-up, I am a guy and everything written here on how to find the perfect man are just so on point, you just hitted the nail on the head without missing.. for any lady if all this steps are followed, then getting that perfect man is already a 100 success. Perfect tips

    • Hi Thousand,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am so happy to see that, as a man, you agree with all of the information in this article and find it the perfect way for any woman to find and get the perfect man. 

      Wish you all the best,


  10. Hello there, thanks for sharing this review out here with us. Going through this was really worth the time spent as I find it very informative and at the same time very educative as well. 

    I know a couple of female friends who falls into the category of people that needs to see this useful information here, well done.

    • Hi Philebur,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see you’ve found the article informative and educative. I hope you share this article with your female friends. 

      Kind regards,



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