In this article I will teach you how to get a man to commit to you and how to get a man to stay committed to you. By following the advice in this article, you will make the man you desire want to be with you in a relationship, without pressuring him or rushing him into it. He will appreciate and love you for who you are and will desire to be with you long-term.
You have been dating for a few months now and you believe that things are progressing towards a long-term relationship. You go on dates, you sleep at each other’s places, you don’t see anyone else and you spend a lot of time together. You feel attracted towards him and you have a great connection. However, he is not ready to commit.
What is to do when he decides he wants to keep things how they are? Should you leave him, pressure him in a relationship or give him time to reconsider his decision? If you are not ready to give up on what you have and you genuinely believe he only needs more time before he will commit, follow the tips below.
How to get a man to commit to you
- Don’t offer him the benefits of a relationship if he doesn’t want one. One thing that keeps men from committing is having all his needs fulfilled already. If you are giving him all the benefits of a relationship, you are rewarding his behaviour and it sends him the message that his behaviour it actually pays off. He will feel that regardless of how he treats you and how little he invests in the relationship, you are not going anywhere.
- Don’t pressure him. In case he mentioned he is not ready for a long-term commitment, give him space and time to consider if he wants a long-term relationship. He needs to make the decision for himself. Be present and enjoy the moments you spend together and stop mentioning or asking him if he has reconsider his opinion on the relationship. Set a time-frame for yourself when you are not going to discuss the subject any further.
- Don’t become insecure. Being insecure about yourself and anxious about the relationship will only make him distance himself from you. Be confident in your abilities and attributes, know what you want from the relationship and regardless of his reaction, make sure he also knows your expectations from the relationship. The more you act anxious, needy and resentful, the more he will pull away from you.
- Focus on yourself. Whilst it is important to support his dreams and aspirations, don’t forget that you are your number one priority. Don’t invest too much in him. If you feel that he is not ready to commit to a long-term relationship, don’t become anxious and needy. Let him see what life is without you, give him the space he needs whilst concentrate on taking care of yourself. Remind him that you desire commitment and if he is not willing to commit to you, you will keep your options open.
- Let him chase you. Men like to feel that they are in control. By letting him plan the dates, initiate texts and calls, he will feel in control of the relationship. Give him the opportunity to come to you by giving him space and letting him pursue you. Be receptive to his attempts to get closer to you and don’t play hard to get.
- Discuss where your relationship is going. Even though you might feel this will scare him away, it is important to discuss where the relationship is going early on. Of course, don’t open the subject after a few dates, but if we have been dating for a few months and you think he is not committed to a relationship with you, it is time to express your concerns. Don’t be afraid to have your dreams ruined. It is better to know his intentions early on and move on than to stay in a relationship that won’t satisfy your needs and desires.
- Decide what you want. It is important to ask yourself if he is the man you really want. Many times, people are so concerned on being liked and loved by their partner that they forget to ask themselves what they really want. Make yourself your priority and put your needs first. Create an amazing life for yourself, with or without him.
If following these tips had finally got you were you wanted and the man you desire is ready to commit to a long-term relationship, then it is time to strengthen your connection and show him the benefits of being in a relationship with you.
How to get a man to stay committed to you
- Support his dreams. In a happy long-term relationship, each member of the couple helps the other’s dreams come true. Discuss career aspirations, future family goals, place he would like to visit and what experiences he would like to have. See where your dreams can match his and if you have a shared vision of the future. Offer him the support he needs on the way.
- Appreciate and validate him. Men tend to pull away when they feel they are not appreciated and validated. Let your partner know you appreciate everything he does for you. Take time to tell him what you love about him, how he makes you happy and how important is to have him in your life.
- Accept his help. Men have an inner desire to provide and protect. When your partner offers to help you with a task, let him offer his support and receive the support in the form it is given. There might be times when you feel you don’t need his support or that you would have performed better on a certain task. However, it is important not to mention this to your partner. Letting him know that you appreciate his help, will make him feel special.
- Give him freedom. Men need their space more than women do. Although you might want to spend all your free time with your partner, make sure you give him space to be free. One of the reasons why men don’t commit to a long-term relationship is because they feel they will lose their freedom. Make sure you have your own hobbies, activities and friends.
- Have fun. Often when couples become committed to each other, they forget to have fun, to be spontaneous, to flirt, to make the other person feel special and admired. Happy long-term relationships have one secret in common: they remember to have fun and enjoy their time together.
- Be happy. Figure out what makes you happy. When you feel unhappy, men tend to take responsibility for your unhappiness. It is important to engage in activities that make you happy, to work on your best self, to be confident and content with your life. Laugh, play games, go on adventure, dance, sing, flirt, tease each other and spend quality time together. Read more about how important is self-confidence in relationships.
I hope this article taught you how to make the man you want to commit and stay committed to you. By following the advice in this article, you will have a better chance at getting the man you want to commit to a long-term relationship with you.
“Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgment, and a promise.”- Unknown
If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.
All the best,
(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)
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