In this article, I will teach you how to master flirting, both face-to-face and by texting. I will also explain the differences between flirting in person and flirting online and how to use them in your advantage.
Flirting is a way of communication using words, body language, looks and gestures to attract and show interest to the person you like.
Flirting is generally used at the beginning of a relationship, but can also be a game between two people with no consequences.
Flirting should consist of a balance between showing your feelings and being intriguing.
Flirting in person
Making eye contact is the easiest way to start flirting. Look into their eyes with interest, but avoid staring.
If they look back at you, smile. Try to smile slowly whilst maintaining eye-contact. If they smile back or look at you with interest, you can take the flirting to the next step.
Saying hello and introducing yourself is a natural step to follow. Ask their name and make sure you remember it. You can complement their name. However, avoid any pick-up lines. Instead, be yourself and say something original.
If this is the first time you meet them, invite them to conversation by asking a question or making a statement that ends with a question. If you already know them, then start a discussion about anything you have in common.
Avoid talking about personal things or controversial subjects such as religion or politics. Instead, talk about issues in which both of you don’t have a defined opinion. Choose enjoyable and care-free subjects.
Use your body language to express interest by maintaining an open posture and avoid crossing arms and legs. Your body should face the person you are going to flirt with.
Appear confident, but if you are nervous, don’t try to hide it; this is a sign you like them. When you compliment them, lower the volume of your voice and look them in the eyes.
Compliment them in a polite and respectful way. If you compliment their physical appearance use words such as beautiful or gorgeous (for women) and handsome (for men). Also, women like to receive compliments about their face (eyes, smile, hair, lips) or hands (or nails). Avoid complimenting other parts of their body.
It is important to check if they are willing to keep making conversation, so stop for a while and let them take the lead.
At the end of the conversation let them know that you are interested to see them again by asking them what they are going to do on a specific day. If it feels too much or too soon, you could always send them a text later expressing your interest to see them again.
How to express emotions when flirting online
Body language constitutes 55% of communication and the tone of voice 38%. This leaves only 7% of communication being expressed by words. How do you make up for the rest of 93% when you are flirting online?
Emojis are important tools you can use in order to express feelings and emotions; they are the body language of texting. Same sentence can differ considerably if at the end of it you put a smiley face or an angry one.
However, don’t rely solely on emojis, use your words to say what you want to say and only use emojis to accentuate them.
Another way to flirt online is by sending nice voice messages. Although the body language is missing from the equation, there is a lot you can express using the tone of your voice.
If you are confident enough you can also send short videos of yourself or pictures expressing your emotions.
Flirting by text
When you flirt by text messages, try to approach the conversation in a friendly and casual way. Create a conversation without pressure.
Ask general questions and avoid talking about yourself. Instead, encourage the other person to talk about themselves. However, don’t make them feel as if they are interviewed.
Don’t ask personal questions and don’t try to have a deep conversation by text. Not only that it is too soon, but it can also leave room for interpretation.
Flattering the person you are texting with is very important. However, do this in a respectful and polite manner, following the same rules for complimenting in person. Avoid complimenting them too much and giving meaningless compliments.
By flattering someone you like, you make your intentions clear and you avoid being stuck in the friend zone. However, don’t be too intense and reveal too many emotions. Leave the person slightly intrigued about your intentions and you will appear more attractive and confident.
Don’t give the impression that you are willing to make any effort to gain their heart. Show them enough to know you are interested, but leave them with the question of how much you are interested.
In order to achieve this, compliment them objectively. Instead of telling them how much you like their smile, tell them they have a beautiful smile.
Use subtle jokes to keep the conversation interesting, but make sure the other person knows it is a joke. Using emojis can be very useful to express what you actually want to say. However, don’t use them excessively.
At the end of the conversation express the desire to talk or see them soon and let them know that you had a good time talking with them.
How to flirt?
It is important to take the opportunity when arises. Show genuine interest, look into their eyes and compliment them. Be genuine, sincere and relaxed. Don’t forget to smile.
Being mysterious is attractive, so try not to reveal everything about you too soon. Making someone laugh is always a good start, so if you have a good sense of humor use it for your own benefit.
Flirt with the intent of just flirting. The more you flirt, the more experienced you become in flirting. It is important to develop the skill of flirting so when you find the right person, it will come naturally to you.
When you flirt, your intention should be to make the other person feel better. The focus should be on them, not on yourself.
Flirting with the intention to make the other person feel better always works.
In a world where social media, magazines and TV are trying to take their confidence, you are giving it back to them. Making someone feel valued and special should be the primary focus of your flirting technique.
Flirting can be difficult at times and mastering it requires understanding of the best techniques followed by practice. These flirting techniques will help you master flirting both in person and online.
I would also recommend reading the following articles:
For men- How to attract and keep women
If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.
All the best,
(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)
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