Love advice for men – How women think in relationships

In this article I will explain how women think in relationships, what they desire and what they need in order to feel loved.

We all know that women have different desires, feelings and emotions than men do. Unaware of these differences, we tend to offer our partner the love we would like to receive. Read more about the differences between men and women here.

 

Women value communication

“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.”- Nat Turner

Women like to talk about their feelings, have them recognized and appreciated. They value relationships, communication and support. Whilst men thrive to achieve goals and feel successful, women thrive for connection and communication.

Women love to ask advice from their friends, listen to them and find solutions to their problems together. Unlike men, they don’t perceive asking for help as a sign of weakness.

 

Women and stress

“A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.”- John Gray

When women are stressed, they like to talk about their feelings and emotions and explore all the possibilities that could have caused them stress.

When your partner feels overwhelmed, she will talk about her problems. If you are not showing understanding towards her, she will become more upset. Women talk about their problems mostly to feel heard and understood.

 

What motivates women

“Bring her flowers, give her chocolates, send her sweet messages, feed her hungry stomach. Make her feel like she is the most important woman in the world to you because she is. She is.” Anonymous

Women are motivated when they feel cherished. If they give without being appreciated and cherished, they become exhausted. On the other side, if they feel appreciated they are willing to give more.

Unlike men, women don’t need space to think about their problems. Simple companionship, understanding and empathy will make your partner feel loved.

How women communicate

”We, women, talk too much, but even then we don’t tell half what we know”. – Nancy Astor the Viscountess Astor

Women talk to explore their real feelings and emotions, to feel better when they are upset and to create intimacy by sharing.  Women tend to find answers to their problems whilst talking about them. When they are upset, they want their partner to offer reassurance and show empathy.

Women use superlatives, metaphors and generalizations to express their frustrations. Most of the time, men misunderstand the real meaning of what their partner want to say and take their words literary.

When a woman complains she carries a hidden request for support. If you understand her request and respond accordingly, she will feel heard and loved.

 

Understanding her moods

”Even a strong woman needs a shoulder to lean on. Someone who’ll just listen as tears roll down to her face, and remind her that no matter how far she’s fallen, she’ll get up again, stronger and wiser than before.”- Unknown

In the same manner men pull away with no apparent reason, women’s mood can rapidly change from being very happy to feel emotionally drained and sad. Read more about why men pull away here. 

Women’s feelings and emotions go up and down consistently. Don’t try to fix her. When you tell your partner that there is no reason to be upset, she feels unsupported and unloved.

The best way to support her when she is upset is to be there for her, listen to her and offer empathy. If your partner is supported and loved, she will recover quicker and return to her loving self.

However, don’t assume that what has bothered her is completely healed and resolved. When women unresolved feelings reoccur, men react inappropriate. Men get impatient and believe that their partner should not open up a conversation which was already discussed in the past.

Unable to express herself, your partner will slowly distance herself from you. If she suppresses or numbs her feelings, they will come out in uncontrollable ways or her love will slowly die.

When she can open up without being judged or criticized, she will be able to express her feelings without going to extremes that overshadow her loving nature. The more she opens up and feels supported, the more she will begin to trust your relationship.

On the other side, the less she is able to be herself and talk about her feelings and emotions, the more she will build resettlement, frustration and will leave behind her loving nature.

How to support your partner

“Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths.” -Sheri L. Dew

In order to support your partner in her rise and fall cycle, you need to understand and accept her feelings, without judging or demanding change.

If she feels judged in her outbursts and down time, she will suppress and control her emotions. The worst thing you can do is telling her she has no reason to feel the way she does.

When women are rising, they see the good part of their life. When they are falling, they can only see the emptiness. Men need to understand this cycle in order to support their partner.

 

Different emotional needs

Respecting a woman is the best way to tell her how beautiful she is.”- Anonymous

Women desire to be taken care of. By offering her space and time to deal with her feelings, she will feel unsupported, unloved and unheard.

In order to feel loved, your partner needs to feel understood and respected. You should be caring and reassuring with her, whilst showing her your devotion.

Listen to her feelings without judgement. She will feel respected if you acknowledge her feelings and take them into consideration.

Validating and accepting her feelings is extremely important. You don’t need to understand or agree with her feelings in order to validate them; you need to acknowledge them and express a supporting and caring attitude.

Your partner will thrive when she feels special and adored. When a woman feels you are making her your priority, she will admire and appreciate you.

Final thoughts

I hope this guide helps you understand how women think in relationships, how they share their thoughts and emotions and what to do to make them feel loved and supported.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,

Yoana,

lovenote-4u.com

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30 thoughts on “Love advice for men – How women think in relationships”

  1. Thank you for sharing this information. If you are in a relationship its OK to have tense moments, arguments and even clashes. Its completely a normal part of being a couple. But the key to any lasting relationship is to work toward building a stronger and more intimate bond. In doing this it is necessary to understand how your partner thinks.

    Reply
    • Hi Hillary,

      Thank you for your comment.  I agree with you completely. A healthy relationship is build over time when both partners are willing to understand each other.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  2. This is a great article that provides thorough explanation of how women think in relationship. It is true, they seek a lot of attention, but in return are giving lots of love. Whenever my girl is feeling unwell or moody, a bar of chocolate or food made by me cheers her up right away. 

    I recommend for every man to read this article, cause it is helpful and it will make you understand woman better.

    Reply
    • Hi Baki,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you think my article will help men better understand women. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  3. Hello Yoana – I like this post quite a lot. Most men are not insensitive as such, but should acknowledge that the emotions a woman feels are normally more intense than what it is perceived to be from a male perspective. Thanks for an article which is more insightful than most.

    Reply
    • Hi Simon,
      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you liked my post and found the information insightful and useful. hope to see you back here soon.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  4. I really have much respect and admiration for you sharing Love Advice for Men How Women Think in Relationships, you know this has been a mystery between men and women forever. How many times do you have a guy say I just don’t understand what women expect from me, and women often become so frustrated with guys it just causes problems in the relationship.

    This has been a very educational article for men and women
    Jeff

    Reply
    • Hi Jeff,

      Thank you for your nice remarks. I am happy to see that you’ve found this article educational for both men and women. I hope to see you back here soon.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  5. Hi
    This is all familiar territory. The challenge is to internalize and make constant and repeated use of the information and advice. I am glad to see that you also have a mirror article which explains how men think in relationships. It does seem that we keep butting up against the same problems over and over and it is all too easy to forget and allow miscommunication and emotional drift to set in.
    Thanks
    Andy

    Reply
    • Hi Andy,

      Thank you for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed reading my article. I agree, we all need to practice and internalise this information, otherwise can be easily forgotten.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  6. Great article! I’ve read different books on the subject, but you’ve brought it down to a more fundamental level that I can actually remember. Thanks (and my wife will likely thank you, too 😉 ).

    Reply
    • Hi Steve,

      Thank you for your comment. I have conducted my research form different books and journals that explore this information in great detail. However, I know that not many people have the time to read a lot in this area so I am happy to see that you’ve found my article a great summary of the information.

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  7. Hi Yoana,
    These articles exploring common differences in gender psychology are excellent in my opinion. It is only when we understand our differences that we have the foundations to build strong and lasting relationships. In today’s world everyone is so preoccupied on finding more ways to be heard that they forget they need to listen and learn about others first.
    Really enjoyed this article.

    Reply
    • Hi Ali,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see you read my articles about both how men and women think in relationships and found the information of great use. I agree with you completely, many people know how to talk, but not how to listen. In order to create a long lasting relationship, we need to first understand our partner.

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  8. I simply love the way you put this article together. Simple and understandable, even for men ( <3 ) Joking apart, our stronger halves can really benefit from this article, as we women differ a great deal in our approach to a relationship. The more we know about each others thoughts, feelings, the better connection we can build. I like that the comments so far came from men, which only confirms how good read your text was. I'll certainly forward it to a couple of friends and I know their wives will be grateful.

    Reply
    • Hi Minher,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you’ve found the article simple and easy to understand for both men and women. Understanding these differences between women and men is vital for building a strong relationship.
      Thank you for sharing my article, I hope this information will help many couples. If you are interested, a have a mirroring article for women in my website. Please have a look and let me know what you think.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  9. Hey nice article you have there, your thoughts are indeed invaluable. I have learnt a whole lot from this article, that will definitely help in keeping my relationship going. There is no doubt that effective communication in a relationship will definitely help in keeping the fire of love burning and strengthening trust and confidence among partners. Keep the good work

    Reply
    • Hi Edah,

      Thank you for your comment. I am pleased to see you enjoyed my article and that you have learned a lot from it. And I agree with you, effective communication and understanding are very important in building a strong relationship. 

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  10. Ok, so I am a man and my wife is not the happiest now, so am glad to have found your article!
    Hey nice review you have there, your thoughts are indeed invaluable.   There is a lot to take in here, unpack and put into action. I would love to trial some of the wisdom here over the next week.  I will definitely start by communicating and listening more, to see if I can identify and even subtly raise these important issues with her.
    This has been a blind spot of mine for a few years now!

    Reply
  11. Just saw the topic and I told myself this is going to be interesting and I wasn’t wrong, not even a bit. It means so much when we are hearing it from another woman. I’m just going to try to implement this in my new relationship and see how it goes because I have been taking down notes in my brains. One thing I really don’t wanna do is break her heart I just hope I can make her happy.

    Reply
    • Hi Donny,

      I am happy to see that you found this article interesting and that you are going to implement this information in your relationship. I can guarantee that she will feel special and happy to be with someone that listens and understands her. Let me know how it goes. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  12. Hello there, thanks for sharing this beautiful content out here for us. I must say i really did enjoyed going through this review as it contains valuable information’s about how women thinks in a relationship which is very helpful in order to understand your partner more and to build a much stronger relationship.

    Reply
    • Hi Philebur,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you’ve enjoyed reading this article and found the information  helpful. 

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  13. Hellooo dear. Thanks a lot for sharing such an amazing post with us all. When I saw your website I wasn’t sure of it sincerity, but I must say that  this post has really helped my relationship a lot. I am happy I got to see this post. I’ll surely do some recommendation, thanks a lot for the info, I already saved this post so as to come back for future reference.

    Reply
    • Hi Skuchmane,

      Thank you for your comment and for deciding to share and recommend this article. I am happy the article helped you.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  14. I had this girlfriend we loved each other but our biggest problem was communicating at some point we got over that stage but the next problem was understanding because even after communicating most times she still ends up misunderstanding me. We separated because we couldn’t fix it. 

    This write up pointed most of the difficulties we had in the relationship. I’ve actually learnt a lot and in my next relationship I’ll show this to my girlfriend so she can read through too. 

    Reply
  15. Hi there,

    Lots of great advice here for men who want to understand the emotional needs women sometimes have. It’s all too easy to assume your wife simply isn’t getting enough rest when complaining about being exhausted.
    More often than not it is the lack of emotional support that contributes the most, and this is something I have noticed myself. It’s really odd how we only need to practice very simple acts of consideration to gain so much, but we still neglect to do them often enough. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Hi Ray,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that you related to the article and realised that the lack of emotional support is why women don’t feel loved so many times. As you mentioned, little things are very important and neglecting them can cause many unnecessary problems in our relationships.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply

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