In this article I will explain how women think in relationships, what they desire and what they need in order to feel loved.
We all know that women have different desires, feelings and emotions than men do. Unaware of these differences, we tend to offer our partner the love we would like to receive. Read more about the differences between men and women here.
Women value communication
“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.”- Nat Turner
Women like to talk about their feelings, have them recognised and appreciated. They value relationships, communication and support. Whilst men thrive to achieve goals and feel successful, women thrive for connection and communication.
Women love to ask advice from their friends, listen to them and find solutions to their problems together. Unlike men, they don’t perceive asking for help as a sign of weakness.
Women and stress
“A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.”- John Gray
When women are stressed, they like to talk about their feelings and emotions and explore all the possibilities that could have caused them stress.
When your partner feels overwhelmed, she will talk about her problems. If you are not showing understanding towards her, she will become more upset. Women talk about their problems mostly to feel heard and understood.
What motivates women
“Bring her flowers, give her chocolates, send her sweet messages, feed her hungry stomach. Make her feel like she is the most important woman in the world to you because she is. She is.” Anonymous
Women are motivated when they feel cherished. If they give without being appreciated and cherished, they become exhausted. On the other side, if they feel appreciated they are willing to give more.
Unlike men, women don’t need space to think about their problems. Simple companionship, understanding and empathy will make your partner feel loved.
How women communicate
”We, women, talk too much, but even then we don’t tell half what we know”. – Nancy Astor the Viscountess Astor
Women talk to explore their real feelings and emotions, to feel better when they are upset and to create intimacy by sharing. Women tend to find answers to their problems whilst talking about them. When they are upset, they want their partner to offer reassurance and show empathy.
Women use superlatives, metaphors and generalisations to express their frustrations. Most of the time, men misunderstand the real meaning of what their partner want to say and take their words literary.
When a woman complains she carries a hidden request for support. If you understand her request and respond accordingly, she will feel heard and loved.
Understanding her moods
”Even a strong woman needs a shoulder to lean on. Someone who’ll just listen as tears roll down to her face, and remind her that no matter how far she’s fallen, she’ll get up again, stronger and wiser than before.”- Unknown
In the same manner men pull away with no apparent reason, women’s mood can rapidly change from being very happy to feel emotionally drained and sad. Read more about why men pull away here.
Women’s feelings and emotions go up and down consistently. Don’t try to fix her. When you tell your partner that there is no reason to be upset, she feels unsupported and unloved.
The best way to support her when she is upset is to be there for her, listen to her and offer empathy. If your partner is supported and loved, she will recover quicker and return to her loving self.
However, don’t assume that what has bothered her is completely healed and resolved. When women unresolved feelings reoccur, men react inappropriate. Men get impatient and believe that their partner should not open up a conversation which was already discussed in the past.
Unable to express herself, your partner will slowly distance herself from you. If she suppresses or numbs her feelings, they will come out in uncontrollable ways or her love will slowly die.
When she can open up without being judged or criticised, she will be able to express her feelings without going to extremes that overshadow her loving nature. The more she opens up and feels supported, the more she will begin to trust your relationship.
On the other side, the less she is able to be herself and talk about her feelings and emotions, the more she will build resettlement, frustration and will leave behind her loving nature.
How to support your partner
“Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths.” -Sheri L. Dew
In order to support your partner in her rise and fall cycle, you need to understand and accept her feelings, without judging or demanding change.
If she feels judged in her outbursts and down time, she will suppress and control her emotions. The worst thing you can do is telling her she has no reason to feel the way she does.
When women are rising, they see the good part of their life. When they are falling, they can only see the emptiness. Men need to understand this cycle in order to support their partner.
Different emotional needs
“Respecting a woman is the best way to tell her how beautiful she is.”- Anonymous
Women desire to be taken care of. By offering her space and time to deal with her feelings, she will feel unsupported, unloved and unheard.
In order to feel loved, your partner needs to feel understood and respected. You should be caring and reassuring with her, whilst showing her your devotion.
Listen to her feelings without judgement. She will feel respected if you acknowledge her feelings and take them into consideration.
Validating and accepting her feelings is extremely important. You don’t need to understand or agree with her feelings in order to validate them; you need to acknowledge them and express a supporting and caring attitude.
Your partner will thrive when she feels special and adored. When a woman feels you are making her your priority, she will admire and appreciate you.
I hope this guide helps you understand how women think in relationships, how they share their thoughts and emotions and what to do to make them feel loved and supported.
If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.
All the best,
(Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists)
For counselling and coaching appointments scan the QR code or press here.