Self-confidence and relationships- How to improve your relationship

In this article, I will discuss the link between self-confidence and relationships and how essential self-confidence is in building a strong and healthy relationship that lasts forever.

Remember how perfect your relationship used to be in the beginning?

But as things progressed, you found yourself fluctuating between periods of love and hate. What changed and how can you bring back those amazing feelings you once had?

Whilst love offered you a temporary reprieve from loneliness, unhappiness, and incompleteness, it is not a permanent solution to something that it is rooted deeply within yourself.

Why people feel complete when they are in love?

Your new relationship seems to satisfy your every desire and need. You feel happy and complete. Your life has meaning and your new relationship provides you with another identity, a better identity.

You feel connected to something greater than yourself through another person. The whole universe seems to make sense and you are ready to live!

Sharing the joys of life with another human being who lights up your world is the biggest joy one can experience in life. I strongly believe that every human being deserves to experience this wonderful feeling.

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”- George Sand

 

And yet…things change!

All these feelings are great and powerful! But soon things begin to change. Your partner fails to meet your needs, he is no longer making you experience that feeling of completeness and you begin to blame him for your unhappiness.

Most people try to replace the emptiness they feel inside by finding someone else to fill up their desire to feel whole.  Because you lack self-confidence, you become insecure and expect your partner to give you self-worth.

This is when the relationship starts to deteriorate. Your partner feels under a lot of pressure and is not able to keep up with your needs.

No one on this Earth is responsible for making you feel worthy and loved; this task is for you to complete. And now let’s discuss how you can achieve this!

”Like any other addiction to alcohol, food or drugs, relationships can bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you’’. The power of Now- Eckhart Tolle

The solution: Improve your self-confidence

When you achieve self-confidence and you start loving yourself, you will stop centering the love on someone else outside you and find it within yourself.  You will find love, joy, and peace within yourself.

Your relationship will drastically change for the better as you don’t need your partner anymore to fulfill your needs. You are in control of your life and destiny and you can connect to something greater through your inner self.

Once you stop judging yourself and accept yourself completely for who you really are, you will accept your partner for who he really is.

As many might believe, love is not two incomplete souls coming together to form a whole; love is two whole souls coming together to share their complete and amazing lives.

 “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”Rumi

 

How do you improve your self-confidence?

  • Well, let’s start by loving yourself.  You might think that this is a selfish act, but let me assure you that it is not. By prioritizing your dreams and desires you will soon start to feel complete and loving and you will have so much more to give to others once you feel that your life is wonderful.
  • Feed your soul! Meditate, exercise, read, and spend a great deal of your time by doing the things that nourish your soul.  Spend time with the people that light you up, which make you feel the best version of yourself by providing their love and support.
  • Learn how to say no to anything that doesn’t benefit you and is not adding value to your life, dreams, and values.
  • Try new things! It is never too late to follow your dreams, to try new things and engage in the activities that you always wanted to
  • Trust your intuition! Trust that feeling inside you that tells you that something is wrong. Anxiety, depression, and sadness are just signals from your inner self trying to tell you that something needs changing! Let them guide you towards a better life, but don’t let them bring you down; don’t let them take over your body. Remember, you are in control!
  • Forgive yourself! You need to clear your mind of all the negative feelings to make space for all the positive feelings that are going to blossom inside you! Feeling guilty about past mistakes won’t bring any benefit to your present and future self. You need to accept the mistakes you made and think about what lesson they thought you! And then move on!
  • Dare to believe! Believe in yourself. Believe that you are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to. Believe in your dreams and follow them with your heart.

The long benefit of self-confidence in your relationship

Think about it! Who wouldn’t like to be around someone who emanates happiness, joy, love, and positivity?

When you will feel at peace with yourself and truly love yourself, you will become like a magnet for other people.

When you stop all the negativity, all the feelings of unworthiness, all the self-doubt and worries, you will become abundant in all aspects of your life. You will be courageous, authentic, and grateful.

You will take your relationship to an extent you never thought is possible. You will not need your partner to fill up your emptiness as you will become a whole. And you will wonder why you waited for so long to be who you were always meant to be!

“She always thought she needed someone to love when all she really needed to do was love the world and let love find her in its time and in its way.”Kate McGahan

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to answer them.

All the best,

Yoana
lovenote-4u.com

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28 thoughts on “Self-confidence and relationships- How to improve your relationship”

  1. Self confidence is something you really need to make things work out in your life in the long term. It helps you to feel happiness, joy and love. Your post is excellent and it will help others an awful lot. Thank you for sharing

    Reply
  2. Thank you,

    I really enjoyed your article especially as you talked about love and being both in love and loved. I liked where you then took the article to self confidence which is so true. If we do not love ourselves we have no chance loving anyone else.

    Great article to make you think.

    Thank yo again

    Reply
    • Hi Imelda,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am glad you enjoyed reading my article and I hope to see you coming back to my website. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  3. Great post and very true . Its wild how at first a relationship does seem to be so perfect and then over time things change. I think you are correct in that people look to others for their happiness. Self confidence plays a big factor. Great tips on how to increase your self confidence. Thanks

    Reply
    • Hi Rob,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am glad you found the tips useful and enjoyed my article. Hope to see you back here soon.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  4. Hey Yoanna,

    I love this article. I have never heard this perspective for a better relationship. But after you said how self-confidence affects in relationships, it makes total sense. You do have to trust yourself in order to trust someone else right?

    Thank you teaching me something new today.

    Reply
    • Hi Rajith,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am happy that you learn something new from my post and I hope to see you back here.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  5. Great post. This has rung true with me on a few occasions. Youa re compeltely right you must imply self confidence for it to work. Many people ‘split up’ as soona s things change r become difficult. However, it takes hard work and persistence to make it work. Great work

    Reply
    • Hi Russ,

      Thank you for your comment. I totally agree with you. A good relationship only exists when the two people involved are persistently changing and improving and decide to overcome together the difficulties they face.

      Kind regards,

      Yoana

      Reply
  6. Yoana,

    Thank you so much for bringing this topic to my attention. I am generally a positive person but sometimes I am lack of confidence, especially when I found out about my partner’s pasts. I know it is toxic when we fill ourselves with thoughts about our partner’s pasts because that might divert our attention to ourselves and the relationship we have. So, improving my self-confident is definitely one of the things I really need to do. I don’t want jealousy over something that is already ended ruin our happiness.

    Cheers,
    Ferra

    Reply
    • Hi Ferra,

      Thank you so much for your comment. What you said is so true. We sometimes feel unsure and look into our partner’s past and that can only bring negative thoughts that can harm our relationship. You need to think positively and remember that your partner chose to be here , now, with you. I am looking to write more around self-confidence as I continue to read and find new ways to improve my self-confidence for my own and other’s happiness.
      I hope you will follow me in this amazing journey.
      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  7. Nice post. Interesting points, especially about having to love yourself first. I agree 100%. Nothing selfish about this. And as you said, this will improve ones relationships.

    Great point also about finding the things we need in live within ourselves. Thanks for this!

    Reply
    • Hi John,

      Thank you so much for your comment. I am glad you found the article interesting. As you said, there is nothing selfish about loving yourself first. In reality, it is the only way to make others happy and bring positivity in the world!

      Wish you all the best,
      Yoana

      Reply
  8. Thank you so much! Loved this article and will be sharing it along to some of my friends. You bring up some great points such as the effects of negativity and positivity as well as how to hold a relationship together. Looking forward to reading the rest of your articles.

    Reply
    • Hi Vatsalya,

      Thank you very much for your comment. I am very happy that you enjoyed my article and decided to share it with your friends. Your support means a lot to me.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  9. Good evening! Beautiful article. It’s so true that when you are hurting deep down, it shows on the surface. Those closest to you, whether it be your significant other, children, other family members, or friends, always know when something is wrong; everyone wants to be happy, and they want those closest to them to be happy as well. You do a great job of breaking down the “self confidence spectrum,” and our society needs this more than ever. Great job! God bless you!

    Reply
    • Hi C.N.,

      Thank you so much for your comment. I am very glad to see that my words have a positive influence. And I couldn’t agree more. We reflect our deepest feelings on our day-to-day behaviour. If this feelings are positive and we feel self-confident, the people around us will benefit from it as well.

      Kind regards,
      Yoana

      Reply
  10. I am going through a rough patch but i have managed to overcome it. i think that you are right. the confidence that you buiid in yourself goes a long way to help out in relationships. there is a high self esteem which bring admiration from your partner. thank you for this article that you have posted

    Reply
    • Hi Kirkman,

      Thank you for your comment. I am happy to see that your working towards achieving total self-confidence. It makes a huge different.  And as you said, your partner’s feeling towards you will change as well.

      Wish you all the best in your journey!

      Yoana

      Reply
  11. thank you very much for this awesome article that you have shared on  how to improve our relationship. most times little things affects our relationship and if there is no growth, gaining self confidence by loving yourself is the major key. if you can not take care of yourself, who will want to?

    Reply
    • Hi Smoochi,

      Thank you for your comment. I couldn’t agree more with you. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves and once we do, everything else falls into place. 

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  12. I read this article and I think how I have often confused selfishness with loving yourself. The more I think about it the more I see that loving yourself just means you have accepted who you are. That also means accepting that we all have flaws and perfection is what you want it to be.
    Thank you for your excellent content

    Reply
    • Hi Ali Reza,

      Thank you very much for your comment. The majority of people are confused about the difference of selfishness and loving yourself. And yes, we all have flaws and create our own reality, deciding what is perfect for each of us. As long as you are happy and content within yourself , others will be too.

      I hope to see you here soon.
      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply
  13. As someone who has lived in a longterm relationship for over a decade, I couldn’t agree with you more. Almost always the petty disagreements and fights have to do with our fragile egos and lack of self-confidence. I’ve delved into spirituality, meditation and mindfulness in the past couple of years or so and I have become very aware that there actually several layers of “me”. The true self that lives in the now and observes everything with love and the ego that always dwells in past or worries about the future. I had lost that true self for years, I was constantly anxious, stressed, and depressed. I blamed everything around me for this, sometimes even my partner. To anyone reading this, the truth is within you, not in external circumstances.

    Reply
    • Hi Jukka,

      Thank you so much for your comment. You are an inspiration for many people struggling in their relationship because of their lack of self-confidence. Meditation is a helpful practice to build self-confidence and deeper understand yourself. And I couldn’t agree more, the truths is within you.

      Wish you all the best,

      Yoana

      Reply

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